By: Sara Badr
Growing up with two brothers and no sister is tough. As a kid, I thought of my brothers as my role models, by the way they dress, walk, act and talk. At the same time, I felt I didn’t belong.
I had to face the fact that I was not like my brothers and I didn’t belong to their “circle”. They made sure that I knew that should be hanging out with girls and not with them. Even so, this never stopped us from playing together at home. My eldest brother would always be the initiator and the mediator of a crazy game or activity and my other brother and I were always game for it. I realized then that boys are really fun to have around, especially if they’re your brothers.
However, it was really difficult for me growing up without having someone to understand me as a girl other than my mom. I needed someone like one of my peers. I wanted a sister. I knew back then that I wasn’t getting a sister any time soon. So, I settled for my friends, my
brothers and my mom as “peer” counselors.
Upon reaching high school, my brothers and I were getting more mature and into the same kind of interests (not completely). My older brother and I got closer. He would share to me his stories of his past girls, his crushes, etc. Those “sharing” times were and are moments that I will always treasure. Him being one year apart from me served and serves as my buddy, and at the same time, my arch nemesis (sometimes). I guess it’s like that for some people, the closer your gap is the more likely you’d quarrel a lot. My eldest brother, on the other hand, served and still serves as the disciplinarian, peer counselor and friend among the siblings. He makes sure that we know our responsibilities and we do them.
I didn’t know how to relate with my brothers back then. But as I opened up and the lesser I forced myself to fit in, the more I was understood and “accepted” by them. Sometimes, if you want to get close with your siblings, you have to know them more, but you shouldn’t seem like you’re trying too hard. Let them come to you and let yourself in, naturally. That’s how I did it and it turned out well.
How about you? did you get close to your siblings? Or are you?
Sunday, January 20, 2008
UA&P I AM S.T.R.O.N.G. : Sibling Relationship
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52 comments:
my siblings and i are pretty close.. even though some of them moved out of the house for college or post grad studies, we always have a blast when we're together. in spite of the occasional fights, i love my siblings very much!
this one got me.. while reading this, envy engulfed me.. buti ka pa..
Wow! your brothers must be really protective of you especially bec you're the only girl.
i wonder what will be the comments of your brothers. did you ask them to read your article? Maybe it'll be nice also if we hear their stories about their relationship with you. :)
by the way, thanks for sharing :)
this is an awesome thread. it struck me!
hey guys! thanks for your comments! :)
anonymous 1: thanks for sharing your relationship with your siblings. it's good to know that you guys are close despite the distance. keep it up! :)
anonymous 2: thanks for that. i guess you could try opening up to your siblings. i'm sure they'll appreciate it. that could show that they ca open up to you too. :)
sis: yep they are quite protective of me. but guess what? they trust me that i'm strong enough to stand on my own. (that's what i think, though) hehe.
anonymous 3: yeah you know, i should tell them to read this. it never crossed my mind. thanks for that advise! :) sure, i'll ask them to write about our relationship.
thanks for that! and you're welcome. :)
shinchan: thank for that! :) i was inspired when i wrote this. :)
sara, you should have posted you and your kuyas' puppydogdolls music video! hahaha =)
super nice blog entry! =)
sara, i know something your brothers dont. kaya dapat mabait ka lang saken. haha. but nice article. i know how you feel though, same situation tayo, bordjz. but it would've been nice to have a sister.
guess who ako..
hey marielly! yes, that would be interesting and embarrassing at the same time. haha. i don't know how it's gonna promote good values though. hehe.
thanks for the suggestion!
hey bordjz! thanks for leaving a comment! i've always been nice to you. hehe. :) yeah, i know that we have the same situation. but it's still being the only girl, isn't it? :)
I have two brothers too! One older and one younger brother... middle child, hehehe! It was tough growing up because my older brother would test his taekwondo moves on me and my little brother and I would be buddies, we would always play video games and soccer. Hehehe, I learned how to be tough and play their games but I grew up to be a girly girl with all my cousins around. I enjoy my brothers' company all the time. :)
I used to fight with my brother a lot especially when I was still young probably because I have gotten used to being the youngest in the family for seven years. :) As we grew up, the fighting lessened because I came to understand my younger brother more. Our mom's passing resulted to us four siblings being more close to each other especially to our dad.
@ Trina
We've gone through the same thing. My sister and I have become more close when our mom passed away several months ago. I guess kami nalang ang dapat magtulungan at hindi mag "kaiwanan"..
John
my siblings and i are not in good terms right now. my eldest sister got herself pregnant with an unworthy guy. this guy made me hate my sister but the truth is i only want what's best for her. i really love my ate and my other siblings. we used to squabble a lot when we were younger but we got close when i started to work and moved in with her. am sad that she and i are not in a healthy relationship right now. am happy for you sara. i can see that you have a wonderful relationship with your brothers.
hi zheero,
try to get back to the good old ways with your sister. obviously, you can't erase what happened before, just accept it and know that your ate is not bad just because she got pregnant in the wrong time and with the "wrong" person. my eldest brother also has a child out of wedlock. he made me hate him for a while and it really changed the way i saw and treated him. he was the one who reached out to me and i forgave him.
so, i think, you should forgive your ate and try to get close with her again. help her in her pregnancy/in raising the child. she needs that now. :) thanks for sharing!
thanks sara. i am helping her. not directly though. actually am saving up to buy something for my niece/nephew to be. btw, her doctor adviced her to stop working for two weeks or so 'cause her pregnancy might be at risk. i love her so much. wow! thanks for sharing your experience with your brother. i just hope everything will work out fine. thanks again. btw, you're helping and inspiring others. keep it up.
the sad thing about with is that i can't relate with the post, my brother has cerebral palsy. i envy people who has normal brothers and sisters. but i love my brother no matter what.
My brother's an overachiever! I used to envy him a lot when we were younger but now i'm just really proud of him. He serves as my inspiration especially when it comes to school :D
i've always wondered what it's like to have brothers and sisters. being an only child is not that bad but sometimes i get lonely and bored so i have tendencies of making friends a lot.
i envy people like you who are really close with their siblings. yer lucky to have such caring brothers. they will be there throughout your life in one way or another. just like those times as children when they worked as your allies, throughout adulthood they can still have that same impact..
wish i had a brother, too. huhu
btw, nice blog. ;)
thanks, zheero. :) that's really touching.
Hi Bee! :))
The kid picture is really cute. :)
It's really sweet of you to write about them like this.. And I envy you! Sibling relationships like yours make me want to know the feeling of having a sibling too. :(( But hey, we can be sisters. :p
I'm sure they're really proud of what you've become. And I know somewhere somehow, they share the same thing to their friends about you too. :) Love you, Bee! :))
thanks for sharing Toffeenut and Bee! :) i'm sure you will be a good sibling to anyone. :)
i think i kinda agree with your situation, growing up with no sister is difficult. considering the fact that i have 3 other brothers and there is a huge age gap... it's hard to fit in... especially i can't fully enter their inner circle... i rarely bond with them because my eldest brother's married and he's in the states and my other 2 twin brothers are both working... it is also hard because my parents compare me with them most of the time and it's hard being left out...
YOOOOOO THATS MY CUZ CUZ RIGHT THERE!! HELLA SICKASS WRITING MAAAAAAAAAAN
nice blog dude
i want a big brother
i got an 8 year old one lmfaooo
but me and my sister are close so its all goooooooooooood :)
Hi Sara- good to know that you are able to nourish your good relationship with your siblings. More than that, it is definitely essential that each one of you should set a good example not only within your family but also to the people around you. Take care
unwanted circumstances happen in our lives and mine's not really tragic though it made me longed for a family. my mother just passed away last year and i don't have a dad anymore.
he left us when my mother's health started to fail.
now, i'm with my brother and i'm in total awe of how did the turn of events made me closer to him. it was extremely undenianle.
before, we don't usually talk to each other.
we don't even bother to ask what's
going on with our individual lives.
we studied at the same school before when he was still in high school but we don't even say hi as if we're not related.
but then, like the falling of the leaves and the descending of our angels on earth is plainly unexplanable moreover is the change of my relationship towards my brother.
we got even closer. we share a lot of things that i thought was never common to both of us.
he even shares to me stories about his girls and the events that happened to him.
he's always reminding me to do my very best in my future undertakings and he offers a pat on the back or a shoulder to cry on when tears roll down my face and when evrything's uncertain for us. he usually tells me that nanay is just watching over us and she'll be sad to see me crying.
i thought that what happened to our family would even make things worse for us but thankfully, it didn't. it made our bond stronger and we're more open to each other now. it broke the wall that once before stood between us.he believed in me.he told me that i 'll be a succesful doctor or a journalist someday despite all the problems we're facing.
regardless of being i may say "orphans", it's never a factor of being separated from him. i just hope that what we have now we'll grow more. we promised each other to keep intact no matter what. especially that i'll be studying in manila at UST. and he told me not to have a boyfriend unless i finish college(chuckles).
my brother is my only family now and i value everything that he's doing for me. they say, mothers know what's best. but for me, i firmly believe that my brother knows what's best for me. he's not only my brother but my bestfriend as well;p
awwwwwwwww... thanks sis.. anyway, nice blog.. very nice :) keep it up...
NO boys ok?! haha :)
Peach Strawberry,
Thanks for sharing your story to us. Indeed, it is very sad what happened to you, and at the same time, inspiring. This should remind all of us to value our family even more. They are all you've got and they know what's good for you. In your case, it's your brother. It's really such a great feeling to be in good terms with your siblings. Keep it up and continue to help each other, especially now that you are the only close family he has left and vice-versa. :)
my sis and I were and are very close to each other. i know that we're both lucky to have each other :D anyway, you're so sweet with your siblings.. nice blog :)
thanks, anonymous.. :) hope you keep up the good relationship you have with your sister.
hey sara, i think you're cute :) can we chill?
oops..
all i can say is.. great post I am STRONG. Especially Sara, the author of this thing.
i hope SARA will notice me :(
Hey Chuck, we appreciate your comments. But we hope that you realize that this blog isn't for dating or something. This is for the teens and their daily issues. But, thanks for your support. We hope you understand. Sara is saying thank you too.
i miss my sibling. they're all in the states.
what i mean is *siblings. sorry
oh great! i need this one. my brother and i had this shuge fight just yesterday. I don't know what to do now :( needed help
charmaine, care to tell us what happened? so that we can help you? :)
hmm.. i wonder what that pussycat video shows? post it sar? just kiddin
what do you guys think of this post? i loved it.. i need inspiration on my siblings. because apparently, they're not that "SWEET" on me anymore. mga binata na kasi sila..
i love it:)
arrggh. i envy you sara. My siblings and I aren't that close na.. They have their own thing na e. Mejo malayo na sila sa akin
ANYmore stories like this one? i enjoyed it
sad to say my sister and i are not close
but i love her no matter what
i wish we could fill in the gap between us before it's too late
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