Jewelz shares...
5 Ways to Shake Shyness
Having a shy style isn't necessarily a problem. It's perfectly OK to take time to warm up to new people and situations. But shyness blocks some people from being as comfortable or sociable as they'd like to be.
Some people want to feel less shy so they can have more fun socializing and being themselves around others. Here are some tips for overcoming shy feelings:
1. Start small with people you know. Practice social behaviors like eye contact, confident body language, introductions, small talk, asking questions, and invitations with the people you feel most comfortable around. Smile. Build your confidence this way. Then branch out to do this with new friends, too.
2. Think of some conversation starters. Often, the hardest part of talking to someone new is getting started. Think of conversation openers, like introducing yourself ("Hi, I'm Chris, we're in the same English class"), giving a compliment ("That jacket looks great on you"), or asking a question ("Do you know when our report is due?"). Being ready with a conversation starter (or a few) makes it easier to approach someone.
3. Rehearse what to say. When you're ready to try something you've been avoiding because of shyness — like a phone call or a conversation — write down what you want to say beforehand. Rehearse it out loud, maybe even in front of the mirror. Then just do it. Don't worry if it's not exactly like you practiced or if it's not perfect. Few of the things more confident-seeming people do are perfect either. Be proud that you gave it a go. Next time, it'll be even better because it will be easier.
4. Give yourself a chance. Find group activities where you can be with people who share your interests. Give yourself a chance to practice socializing with these new people, and get to know them slowly. People who are shy often worry about failing or how others will judge them. Worries and feelings like these can keep you from trying. If self-criticism plays a role for you, ask yourself whether you'd be this critical of your best friend. Chances are you'd be much more accepting. So treat yourself like your own best friend. Encourage yourself instead of expecting to fail.
5. Develop your assertiveness. Because shy people can be overly concerned with other peoples' reactions, they don't want to rock the boat. That doesn't mean
they're wimpy or cowardly. But it can mean they are less likely to be assertive. Being assertive means speaking up for yourself when you should, asking for what you want or need, or telling other people when they're stepping on your toes.
Most of all, be yourself. It's OK to try out different conversational approaches you see others using. But say and do what fits your style. Being the real you — and daring to let yourself be noticed — is what attracts friends.
Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Most of all, be yourself. It's OK to try out different conversational approaches you see others using. But say and do what fits your style. Being the real you — and daring to let yourself be noticed — is what attracts friends.
Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
*article taken from
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/shy_tips.html
Stepping up and speaking out may be tough, especially if you do not know the people around you. There are benefits in taking a step back and listening to people before drawing conclusions, however, overcoming shyness allows you to express yourself to others and be heard. You become more comfortable being yourself.
Share stories on how overcoming shyness helped you. :)
*this blog is in support of the I am STRONG organization by UA&P.
421 comments:
1 – 200 of 421 Newer› Newest»nice post, jewelz! i always like to b the one to break the ice with a group of people i am meeting fro the first time. i cant stand the tension and the awkward feeling that trying to get the "feel of others" brings.
i like making friends..so i think the sooner i break the ice with people i am with for the first time, the better chances i have of making them my new friends!
im really shy...i just cant muster the guts to be the one to approach...buth thanks for this!
another helpful article! thanks i am STRONG!
people understood me more when I spoke up.
I feel better around myself... I don't seem to be mysterious to my friends anymore.
I feel better around my friends. I don't seem to be mysterious to them anymore.
Looking people in the eye while talking is also a good way to communicate better.
when shaking hands, grasp the hand firmly to show you mean it.
nice post!!! i always say this, this site helps me a lot... im happy that you are giving tips like this because high school life is very difficult
totally agree with you
i believe that social skills are very important in character building. we as persons always try to improve ourselves and be better. we can only do this by conversing and interacting with other people. jewelz told me about kaizen, the japanese philosophy of improving oneself everyday even the slightest improvement will do. so i encourage everyone to improve your communication skills and get rid of the shyness
weh charles!!!! corny mo preo maganda ung entry!!!! maysado kang seryoso hahaha
hahaha!!! salamat ha... basahin mo mabuti para di ka na mahiya hahaha.... :)
mga ate's and kuya's pwede ba gamitin ito para makausap crush ko?
wow just in time.. im meeting my groupmate in school and i've been quiet sine the firs meeting cause im very shy. i dont want to make mistakes.. but i guess this blog has inspired me... actually this is my first comment but i've been an avid reader
anonymous na may crush:
syempre! pwede mo to gamitin... pwede ka mag rehearse sa bahay kung ano gusto mo sabihin, tapos pag may nakita kang opportunity na makausap sya, sabihin mo yung na rehearse mo. :)
hay expert ako dyan di na ako nahihiya eh
i love this site grabe
ako kaya ung di nahihiya sa ganyan padamihan pa tayo ng gf eh hahaha
There were five Vietnamese students who migrated to the USA. I remember the first time I observed them, they were all shy and they bow their heads. After a couple months, they learned how to communicate. The school has a social skills curriculum. Weeks of training proved to be significant to these group. Before they left the school, they can talk and converse with anyone. You can hardly noticed the shyness they once had. Their self esteem was high and they can even train others because they can relate to it. They used their experiences to share with their peers. Shyness is no longer part of their vocabulary.
Overcoming shyness can be done with interacting with your own peers. Lots of practice to enhance your communication skills is paramount. You can participate in group discussion and other school activities. I know because I was also shy at first, but now I have a positive outlook in life.
Small group sessions with active listening and participation can be a very effective tool in improving your attitude. Developing excellent communcation skills will offset shyness.
Outdoor activities with your friends and even close relatives can help you shy away with shyness. You must participate and keep on trying to improve your social interaction. Dont be afraid to make mistakes, because no one is perfect afterall.
I am still shy at times but the most impotant thing is that I can talk to my friends with eased and I am not shy at all. I guess, it defends on what group of people you are with at a particular time. Some well known guess speakers in a huge assembly can still choked while doing thier speech. How much more with a person like me. But what is important to me is that I can communicate with my close friends ND MY Parents.
I love your article, it reminds me of myself. I was shy before and can hardly start a conversation with my friend. Reading your article is good way for me to reflect back on my past. I can used to it enhance my communication skills.
Shyness is good if you put in the right perspective. Talking too much sometimes defeat the purpose of being a good communicator. A little shyness once in awhile is an effective traits to have rather than being labeled as an arrogant communicator.
Reading your article encourages others to enhance their communication skills. Practice, practice, practice, makes it perfect.
staying at home, not mingling with ZTE enate Hearing. You can share the laughter because when you watch these politicians, it will encourage you to be better. Perhaps you can reduced your shyness after viewing this senate hearing, It can also improved your listening skills.
Everyone of us started shy in the beginning, not unless you were born talking like a parrot already. All of us can still improved our social skills. Not only our shyness but other skills as well.
Sometimes it courage to face the challenge in front of you, that is accepting the fact that you can do something to change your image into more positive one. Look yourself in the mirror and say, I can do this...
A win-win situation, is for you to just go out there and find out what good you can do to help others, and by doing so in return, you will enhamce your ability to do things without being shy about it.
Strong determination and focus on the good side of you, the outcome will benefit you away from negative things. Assertiveness, can help you enhance your social skills without thinking negatively.
i'm not shy! it's just that sometimes im being introvert.
Naaalala ko pa noong mga bata pa kami,kapag may dumarating na panauhin,ay tumatakbo kaming magkakapatid para mag tago dahil nahihiya.Sa malumanay na paraan, kinausap kami ng aming mga magulang na mag sanay na batiin ang mga bisita kahit magandang umaga o magandang gabi.Iyan ang simulain ng magandang asal at nasanay na rin na hindi maging mahiyain.
(: Hey. Great post. I used to be shy too, but i learnt to overcome it. Thanks to http://www.whatcausespanicattacks.com. So far, this webbie has the best tips and techniques to overcome shyness. Do try it.
Too shy can be perceived in a different way. If it is persistent and chronic, it could be a symptom of an illness.
If your friend is like this, try to encourage him/her to join a group outing and socialize.
Meeting new people can be the first step in slowly depleting the high percentage of shyness.
Sa probinsiya walang hiya ang mga tao. Halos lahat sila ay magkakakilala. Kaya, alisin ang hiya, kasi baka maihintulad ka sa damong makahiya!
Try this communication exrcise, it may help you and others forget being shy: if you are the facilitator, tell the first person in the group by whispering a word. Then tell that person to whisper what you said to her or him. Continue this sequence until the last person in the group heard it. Then ask the last person what the other person told her or him. Then tell the first person to tell the entire group of what you said in the very beginning. Most of the time the last person received the a different information. It is a good ice breaker. Try it.
i'm a very shy person. thank you for helping me!
i will try my best to overcome my shyness.. this is only temporary =)
i will try my best to overcome my shyness.. this is only temporary =)
I used to be a very shy kid. But i went out of my shell when i started believing in my self. Since then, I was able to develop my confidence =)
My younger brother was so shy when he was growing -up. Hoever, when he started college, he became one of the stand-out in the debate team. What a turn around.
Being shy is good. At least they dont have to pick apart what you say in a group. Ha ha ha.
Wow, thank you very much for all your insightful comments!
keep smiling...
A shy person can be perceived as boring. So get out there shy people and mingle, mingle.. It's good for you.
Being shy tends to be a curtain to some people. But in reality, people with character traits as being shy may have an I.Q. higher than the average person.
Thank you bruce, that's really true... share your thoughts with everyone so we can all benefit by learning from one another! :)
angel, you're right! sometimes we don't know someone else's thoughts unless they say it...
pag tahimik ka, mapapanis ang laway mo.
hahaha!
I'm really shy to recite in class... baka kasi mali yung mga naiisip ko.
minsan kung may peer pressure sa school, ayaw ko na rin magsalita kasi baka iba na ang tingin sakin ng mga barkada ko.
I think about so many things and in the end, I don't say anything at all... :( Sometimes I get the chance to speak up.
mahiyain talaga ako.. hirap kasi magsalita kung hindi mo kakilala.
salamat ah!
I'm not shy!
don't be skirrrd!
You shy people-have you tried to get angry with another person? I know that when you get really mad, you tend to yell, shout, and even hit the other person. When you are mouthy, you sont even noticed your shyness. You are just plain loudand not shy at all. Hence, you have the ability to get rid of your shyness afterall.
If you want to practice to get rid of your shyness, try to stick your head out of your berdroom window, and just blurt out a loud yell, and say "I am mad at the world, and I am not shy!"
Cant stop being loud and talkative? Well, then try to be shy once in awhile, you will feel better.
If are shy maybe you need to take a lesson from Kris quino. Try to watch some of her shows, and you will feel confident and perhaps get rid of your shyness. Remember, Kris at one time devulged her sexual activities with Former Paranaque Mayor Marquez, and even broadcast her incurred disease via television! That is plain gutsy and stupid, but then again she is not shy at all to admit it.
I fyou are shy and When you are with your friends, you might want to break the ice with a a funny joke. Sometimes laughter is a good way to start a conversation, and it will certainly minimized your shyness.
A man that is demonstrating shyness in his behavior will definitely hamper his chances to court a lady of his choice. So when he is in love it is detrimental for him and he is in a disadvantage side of the fence.
Cold turkey could be the right description of a shy person.
A baboon, that should be the correct way to described a shy man. He dont have two legs to stand on.
A shy man might need to swallow a dose of viagra, and might do him good to combat shyness when he is facing the love of his life.
Maybe this shy man needs is a parrot toungue transplant! ha ha ha
I am a shy man, but having read some of the idotic comments about a shy man, irks the heck out of me. There, I just prooved to you people that even a shy man become irritated and can talk the walk. I guess I am not that shy afterall. I am plain mad.
i will try this later.. 8am eastern time!!!! lol :)
i think being shy is okay by not too shy coz u cant accomplish anything with high level of shyness
i believe you
yeah i agree just dont be overconfiden
for jewelz
i dislike guys that have to much self confidence!!! haha but ice post by the way
to jewelz
i like your posts!!!! its inspirig and i learn a lot from you
hey guys can you post more true to life experiences?
hey guys a little help pls. i'm a korean and i go here in the philppines to study and study english.. i freshman student in ateneo and im having problem in school looks like my teacher is not paying attention to me or he do not know me.. i cant speak very good english that is why i look at blogs and im glad im here reading your posts
hi jewelz!! nice post guess who?
hi imciamstrong my cousin charles forced me to view this blog 2 days ago and i regret it!!! haha i regret that im only viewing it now... i will regularly visit this site form now on
nice! boost your confidence guys!
makes me confident! thanks for the article guys!
very helpful article. good job.
after reading this it made me feel good.
sooo nice!
Hey, shy people, go out there and join the EDSA group organization. Make yourself usefull, and in return, you will be surprised that you will find common things with other people, and you wont even noticed that you are shy.
Shy people can make friends. There are many shy people around, why not find them and form a group, and have a chat session. These are your peers and dont be afraid because all of you are shy. You will find out that some of you will turn out to be the facilitator and or leader.
I love shy people because I feel I am really good when I am around them. I am the only one talking most of the time. Ha ha ha.
I like shy people too because they dont argue with you. They just stay quite even when their faces are turning red. Ha ha ha.
Shy people are just plain "cold turkey!" They dont realized that they are just the same humans compared to others.
I am a shy person at times, but it doesnt mean I am cold turkey!
I am a shy person at times, but it doesnt mean I am cold turkey!
Somehow some people misunderstood shy people, we are just like you, and even better at times because we dont have a smart mouth.
We shy people have the same rights as others such those who brags a lot that they have good communication skills. I think they are just grand standing when they are around with friends.
Some of the comments by the shy people are somewhat true, but it does not mean that they are better that people who has a good image.
You can say all you want about shy people, but the fact remain that shy people like myself have good qualities, it might not be the talking skills but in some other aspect like in academics.
Shy people are beautiful and charismatic. When they open their mouth, they can really express themselves.
Most of my friends are shy, and I dont mind at all that I am with them. It makes my surroundings quite and peacefull.
Accept the fact that shyness is not positive mostly beacuse you could be miscontrued as impolite.
ey, ill recommend this to my friends =) nice, is this original?
Shyness is feeling uneasy around people—strangers, those in authority, persons of the opposite sex, or even your peers. It is extreme self-consciousness that affects its victims in a variety of ways. Some get embarrassed; with eyes downcast and heart pounding, they find themselves unable to speak. Others lose their composure and begin to chatter continuously. Yet others find it hard to speak up and voice their opinions or preferences.
Actually, though, there are positive aspects to having a measure of shyness. It is akin to modesty and humility.
There is further benefit in appearing discreet and unassuming, in not being overbearing and overly aggressive.
I can say that is true, kaya may benefit yung pagiging shy, but too much shyness hindi rin maganda
A shy person is often valued as a good listener. But when shyness restricts and inhibits us from realizing our full potential and harmfully affects our relationships, work, and feelings, it is time to do something about it!
"By withdrawing, not speaking up, or being so preoccupied with self that you don’t pay attention to others, you may leave the impression that you are stuck-up, unfriendly, bored, or even uncaring or ignorant. When your thoughts are on yourself, it is hard to concentrate on the discussion at hand. So you pay less attention to the information you are receiving. Then what you fear most happens—you appear foolish".
This is from the book "Young Pepole Ask"
I used to be shy with people na magaganda and gwapo nung bata pa ako... hehehe
I usually understand people who are shy, kasi ganun ako dati kaya I do my best to make them feel comfortable when they are around me.
Si jewelz noon alam ko medyo shy yan nung mga bata pa kami...
When I went to college na I know shyness wouldn't help so I have to work on it
Lagi kong iniisip na hindi naman ako mamamatay if i speak up then magkamali hehehe..
That's right Aimee
You can overcome shyness by
Wanting to change and believing that change is really possible
Replacing negative thoughts with positive action
Setting realistic and meaningful goals for yourself
Knowing how to relax and cope with anxiety
you are jewelz
Rehearsing a situation beforehand
Gaining confidence by progressively successful experiences
Remembering that differences of opinion exist and that others err too
Practicing to increase skills and learn new ones
Reaching out to show love and to help others
Dressing tastefully and acting with confidence
Relying on the help that God gives
Being involved with Christian meetings and in sharing your faith with others
great post jewelz! widen out is also one way of killing shyness
i use to be a shy type of person but now im the best salesperson, thanks to my enegey boosters ....
could shyness to the boys be a great thing? hmmm let me see
get out of you shell!! :)
hahaha i am never shy!
chill out and smile
express yourself! never fear that they will not like you.
be smart and join the conversation!
speak out... talk your brain out
be open and not judgemental.
the japanese dont bow because they are shy, its their way of showing respect.
i will not be shy. i can develop conversations - good ones all the time
join a group that will enhance you character. dance group, singing group or theatrical group.
bring it on! nice article on shyness jewelz. you use to be a shy girl but now.... we are so proud of you for coming out of your shell. love you always
i love my friends so much that i can give my life to them.
meet, greet and treat!
basketball - throw your ball and learn to catch it too.
take it easy and just express your thoughts
pulling away from shyness is bitter sweet... learn to be strong.
shyness is the first indication that a person loves you..
you can never understand why a person is shy...
are you shy? why are you shy?
i just finish a task of shyness... would you hire me?
i shy away from the world because i feel that im being overcomed by everything around me... i hate it
believe you can and conquer
enjoy yourself more... be more outgoing
bring the fire in you!
i wont be shy,, especially for you..
i may be mysterious but iam not shy... i just cant express myself easily in the crowd
i deal with shyness as i deal with love. its a balance of everything
maglaro tayo ng mapawi ang lungkot. mag usap tayo
oven your shell and be my friend
imagine me being shy... hahahaha i cant even imagine myself to be shy
be yourself and stay calm....
dont create your own world... create friends
mingle with the crowd ... show yourself off but be nice..
be bold...
desire to be on top... dream big and be strong
share your talents and win a friend
dont be shy... dont let anyone make you one..
shyness is a sign of weakness be strong
be happy and proud
cut yourself loose.... conquer your world
conquer your world
contain your fears and tensions multiply your guts to bring glory
choose your friends
express your thoughts and emotions
get real
communicate
try good sports and learn to cultivate your worth..
gamitin mo ang chat room para di ka mahiya. discuss things that you will learn or of interest.
meet me
enjoy life
your article reminds me of my new friend in britain...
lets dance and loosen up
let no one make you feel inferior. shyness by the way is an inferiority..
when you are shy,,, everything seems blurry
inferiority is a state of mind... do away shyness
never hesitate but be free
join me
friends can never be inferior to each other they just submit?!?
posh posh posh run run run
i will not hide myself from the rest... i will shout and be myself
i feel better when im with people than with myself. i guess im not shy
i won the toastmaster award first prize... i guess im not shy
im proud of myself.
show my your worth
sing sing a song....
dance dance with all your heart
je m'appelle lisha
vous parlez francais?
become the person you want to be
give me the guts ...
receive the glory
laugh with me chat with me
join a club!
travel and learn
fight for your right... shy not
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