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Thursday, December 27, 2007

UA&P I AM S.T.R.O.N.G. : Mutual Understanding- Do we really understand what this means?


Sara Badr speaks,

How do we know when/if someone likes us? Of course, sometimes, we assume by the way someone acts towards us. We will only truly know if someone likes us when he/she tells us so. However, when we do know if we feel the same way for each other, are we ready to get into a relationship right away? Or do we keep things the way they were?

I remember back in high school, or even grade school, people would use the term “MU when their crushes liked them too. I remember being teased a lot with my crush, which gave me a clue or an assumption that most probably, he too, felt the same way. Then, people would go around telling other people that I have an “MU”. “MU” must have meant someone who likes you too. It would be expressed in the daily Taglish lingo, “Ka-MU ko sya.” It would also be expressed as a sort of status of the relationship, “MU na silang dalawa.”

When we look at the true meaning of this two-letter expression, “MU” means mutual understanding. Mutual means a feeling experienced by both people for each other, and understanding means they both know it. Apparently, from what I see and from what I have experienced, it is that level of the relationship between two people, which is deeper or higher than friendship but lesser than a real commitment with someone. Having an MU with someone does not necessarily mean that you should get into a relationship with him/her right away. This also does not mean that you are both exclusive to each other, although this may appear to be the case in grade school or high school.

MU usually is a complicated state to be in. You would not know how to act towards the person and you wouldn’t have the same rights of a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Being in a mutual understanding with someone, though, will give you time to know the person more before entering a relationship that needs commitment. We have to think of our priorities and what we really want before making important decisions.

How about you? How did your MUs work out? Did they work out? I’d love to hear what you went through in this “complicated” relationship. Tell me if you agree with me or not. I’d love to hear your side as well.





15 comments:

Anonymous said...

MU is indeed complicated, and for me it's not a great way to start a relationship. The thing is that, what if in the end, you don't end up with each other, it's going to be devastating. People anticipate that the two of you be official, you want to be official. But what if in the end it's not meant to be?
You get hurt, and then what? For me, the best way of getting to know a person more before entering into a relationship is friendship. In a MU relationship, you have your best foot forward. But when you're only friends, you have your guard down.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you, anonymous.. For girls, it's even harder, because girls would wait for that moment when the guy proposes to them to be official.. girls don't usually make the move, right? which is why it's harder for us.

Anonymous said...

MU's are too complicated for me

notsosimple said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
notsosimple said...

I believe being in an "mu" stage isn't that complicated. For me "mu" is like a stepping stone for the couple to be boyfriend and girlfriend. It gives you signs whether or not that person likes you and if you have a chance with him/her.

Based from my experience, after getting into that stage (MU),it is easier and everything turns out the way i want it. If you found out that the person you like also likes you, then what's stopping you from being together? Eventually you'll fall in love (it usually starts with like/crush then love) and be a couple.

Well I'm not sure if that applies to everyone. Sometimes, people have a lot of "MU's" (which is kinda rare..i think) making them confused or have difficulty with choosing. Another thing is that maybe the girl/boy isn't ready yet to have a commitment. Hmm...but if if that's the case and he does like/crush/love the girl, then eventually they'll end up together. So I think there's nothing really complicated about being in a mutual understanding.

Anonymous said...

Dear notsosimple,

Thanks for that. Actually, you are right in that aspect. Some MUs do work out for the best. In essence, it should not really cause any complication for the couple.. :)

It's just that for some couples, at least one of them isn't ready, or there may be other reason that would arise eventually that would make things hard.

Thanks for sharing what you know. :)

notsosimple said...

Hi sara! yeah well..i agree..it really depends on the couple lol

p.s.
i miss our "starbucks" days
(1st year, every morning, 5am)
hahahaha
think think! LOL! *wink*

Anonymous said...

What really is an "MU"? i mean are u friends? committed friends? Friends with benefits? i mean this is how it gets complicated. Yeah it has a universal meaning of mutual understanding, but the real question is, how do u define it? You can refer to all the references you can avail, asks a lot of people, dig through all the books,yeah it would make give u a definite meaning but do u really understand it?with it all it wont matter 'coz your personal understanding of it would give you the real answer. When feelings are involve its too risky to understand it by the book. Hope you understand what i mean.
take care

Anonymous said...

uhmm... i think MU is suthin like playing it safe, i agree with u miss/mr. anonymous, it's very complic8d, it's not a good ground for relationships since it's very unstable. Mutual Understanding is not good for a couple since theyre both playing on safe grounds but what happens if one gives up in then the other is left with just expectations.

Anonymous said...

MU is complex and can sometimes be frustrating. i can not even give a coherent explanation of it. you are right Sara, one should not jump immediately into a relationship just because the person you like, admires you too. it should not stop from just liking each other. you should learn how to respect, understand and love each other deeply. sometimes MUs can ruin friendships. when you enter a relationship with your "ka-MU" it's like jumping into an unfamiliar place. you will run out of things to do with the relationship. you'll later find out that it's not easy. entering a relationship is not a walk in the park.

notsosimple said...

"what happens if one gives up in then the other is left with just expectations."

i think if you're in a MU relationship you shouldn't really be expecting anything. Well for me, if I'm in this kind of situation..i won't take this stage seriously. lol! i'll just enjoy that "kilig" moment while it lasts and if everything goes well...then good for me! lol!

That's the problem with some people..they expect too much. That's why I always wait for the person to really tell me how he feels (love) before thinking/expecting something. So even though you FEEL or SEE that he likes you and he acts different around you (compared to other girls), that's not enough reason for you to expect anything.

WAIT for him to TELL you.

Anonymous said...

MU??? in my school MU means "mag-un" setting aside...
I would just like to ask what"s the point of having an mu if you can be just friends... for me it is even better if you are just friends or "barkada" because you will know someone right away no strings attached. MU is just a stage where you are ready for the next level, whether you are ready to commit yourself to someone...

peace sara...
Franz to ~_^

Anonymous said...

no hablo en english y no edia un M.U.lo siento CuZ just posting mi nombre. claro. chillax baby chismax.


Black Satan out!

Anonymous said...

This "MU" stage, for a time, can
be fun. For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that this pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling. But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, eventually there can be real emotions involved which could end up hurting either one of you if things doesn't work out as expected.

Anonymous said...

It is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it unlike in a serious relationship. MU is full of uncertainties beacause there is no "us." It's just "you and me."