Ruther writes:
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and is one of the sweetest,most kilig days of the year for sweethearts and sweethearts-to-be. It is the day where love is widely recognized and celebrated, when girls and boys put much effort into thinking of “the perfect gifts” for their significant others—gifts that will show how much the other means to them, and thanking each other for the perfect not-so-perfect relationship they share.
That’s right—perfect not-so-perfect relationship.
We all know that no matter how lovers like to say and think that they are compatible, relationships do not always stay as smooth as glass. Misunderstandings come occasionally to break that smoothness, testing how far each will go to keep the relationship whole. It can come from really serious matters, or from petty ones. For example, girls prefer to be shown affection through intangible means—as such “its not the teddy bears,the chocolates or the flowers I want from him—its his time”, while guys (most of the time) tend to think that giving material things along with the intangibles result in a more powerful expression of affection—as such “ill bring her a teddy bear when I visit her so she will know how much I’ve missed her”.
Sometimes, we tend to expect that we be shown love the way we show love to others. But the thing is, everybody has a different way of showing love. Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages” illustrates how love can be communicated in different ways.
Words of Affirmation
One way to show love is though appreciation. Words such as “great job!” “you’re the best” and “we can do it” show how much you are appreciated and valued. Compliments work to encourage and boost your self-esteem, which in the end, make you think and feel good about yourself. Love does not only make you happy because someone loves you, but also because you love yourself.
Quality Time
Another way to show love is by spending time with the one you love. You feel loved if you receive focused attention and energy from the person you love. Love, like many other things grow with time and experience. So experiencing things together does not only make you know each other more, but also give you more reasons to keep on loving each other.
Receiving gifts
It is a tangible expression of love that assures you that he/ she does not only think of you, but he/she also wants to make you happy. Gifts are visual manifestations of love. A simple present to reward ones success will show how much he / she is appreciated—as such, flowers are the universal material representation of love (along with chocolates and bears).
Acts of service
You feel loved when someone helps you carry out your responsibility. Such love requires effort, energy, and time from another person. Helping one to carry out certain tasks is an indication that he / she is cared for and therefore, loved.
Physical touch
Of course, the expression of love cannot be complete without physical manifestations of it. Holding hands, embracing, kissing are some of the most common explicit expressions of love (aside from words). Physical expression puts sense in the saying “if you mean what you say, then do it”.
We all have our own love languages—we express love in different ways. It is important to know and understand our own love language and that of our loved ones to avoid occasional misunderstandings.
So what’s your love language? And what’s the love language of your loved ones?
Share us your love language…
*we support the I AM S.T.R.O.N.G. organization of ua&p
116 comments:
I read this book =) One of my fav's!
I express love through acts of service and words of affirmation :D Happy valentines i am s.t.r.o.n.g. nice site!
thanks for sharing this! it's a good eye opener.. i think i can take pride in saying that i show my love using all five languages! (at least i think i do anyway.. hehe)
happy valentines to everyone!
happy valentines eveyone! =P
nice blog! definitely fit for valentines! great one, you guys..this blog keeps on getting better and better! keep it up!
love it!
nice one, you guys! every blog just gets even more interesting!
HAPPY VALENTINES EVERYONE :)
happy valentines!
its true that people have different ways of communicating love. Like my dad for example.. even if he's not "malambing" and all, i know that he loves me. he shows it through other ways =)
haha right! my grandma is never the sweet old lady type...in fact, she scares everyone! BUT I DO KNOW SHE LOVES AND CARES FOR ME...its just that she isnt really the sweet type
i dont really think that gifts are important to show some one that you love him or her. but sometimes, gifts are a nice touch to letting that person know (in a more obvious way)how you feel about them =)
this is such a nice book. everyody should get a copy of it!
nice..very timely for valentines...nice reminder how love is supposed to be expressed
great topic for valentines!
Showing you care :)
I read somewhere that LOVE = being comfortable in silence.
Thanks to the person who made this article.Just in time to be reminded on what to do with your love one on a special day like feb 14.It does not have to be lavish.Sometime we get so busy at work and we miss to spend time with the person who loves us the most!
love love love love! happy hearts day! =)
very very nice blog!
Happy Vday again :)
love is giving yourself willingly and whole heartedly to another, without expecting for anything in return and without losing yourself in the process
i LOVE this thread :)
where can i find this book?
im going to let my mom read this! my dad especially :) haha
..and my friend who lost hope on love..
happy valentines!!!!
you have to love yourself 1st before you are able to love others. happy hearts day to everyone!
you have to love yourself 1st before you are able to love others. happy hearts day to everyone!
hey i've heard about this book! i'll buy it when i can hehehehe
I ate dinner with my family today. :) My dad and younger brother came to visit!
happy v day people! mwah mwah mwah!!
wow!! hi sushi!! :)
L...L..L..L..LOVE!
you know what? people are malambing in different ways... some like to be touchy and mushy.. and some are fine without it. Guys also like lambing sometimes, right?
I like hugs!
I spend time with the people i love! that's my love language -)
oh me too! I like talking to people...
I hear some of my friends complain about their boyfriends who aren't "thoughtful" in terms of gift giving and surprises. but this article shows that not everyone shows love this way :)
I think respecting the elderly is one way to show love
you can tell a person loves you through their eyes.
your eyes are the windows to your soul... is this true??
s... maybe love shouldn't be measured through material things.. a flower from the garden isn't any less than a silver necklace :)
I like getting surprises! even when there's no special occasion.
how do you know when someones in love? how can you tell if its true?
can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence.... is this love?
love for dummies... do they have that in a bookstore?
nice scripts on page.
Love is making a stand whatever the situation is. Turning the other check when you are suppose to. Sacrificing is the best expression of love.
Love is not a feeling, it's a conviction and it's for life.
my mom used to tell me that love has its reasons which even reason alone cannot fathom. if we love, it's because we don't really have to look for a perfect person to fit in our ideals. we love because we cannot truly define or measure the love we feel for someone. that's love, unexplanable yet magical and life changing.
I think that friendship should also be considered as another love language. After all, that's where all things start, right? I think that the best foundation any relationship could have is friendship.
Misunderstandings in any relationship is normal for it is from those misunderstandings that the relationship and the persons involved grow and become better.
trina:
i agree! friendship is a love language =P
ey, friendship is not a love language. Instead, an expression of those love languages you have could result to a good friendship. Friendship is a product of your love language. Also, love languages do not only applies between lovers, but anyone who you choose to love.
different strokes for different folks =)
i like the topic of love!
im service and effort
i think word of affirmation is my primary love language
oh... words of affirmation is my weakest.
im more of gifts
i really feel special is my friends gives me chocolate coz it's my favorite!
The most impt in love is when you give yourself to others like How JEsus Christ gave Himself to us
belated valentines to everyone!
love moves me in different ways
belated valentines to everyone!
i love you bloggers!
Does anyone know where valentine originated?
this is not about valetine's but knowing how to show your love to the people you love
hi jwlz, i love you
i first heard this 5 languages of love from a old friend while we were having a nail spa.
thanks for reminding me...
my mom is more of the gifts and service type of love. maybe i have to water the plants more and clean the house for her
boys are more affirmative type of love--- i love to be affirmed
i give more and receive more
i give more and receive more
im more physical- i want to be hugged all the time
words of affirmation - your the best in the whole wide world...
affirmation - youre a great cook honey
affirmation - i cant imagine life without you sweetie
affirmation - that shirt looks good on you
affirmation - your the sexiest darling
physical - hugging
physical - kissing
physical = a pat on one back
embracing
acts of service - clean the house
walk the dog
water the plants
do the dishes
cook some tsty meals
go with them to the grocery
pick up some trash
quality time with kids
time with your wife or husband
a walk along the seashore holding hands
a quiet time under the sunset
playing under the rain
a dinner date for two
a walk in the park
picnic with the family
long hours of travel with just the two of you
an island hop with your love one
long stemmed roses - gifts
gifts - tulips for me
diamond ring
a nice house
a red ferrari cars
dark chocolates
starbucks journal
anything... plain and simple
the greates is all five combined
its gary chapman's book
i bet oprah's going to highlight it in her show
give me some lovin
i like to be malambing... guys who are not publicly showing that they like you but secretly showing you.
my big love
show all this kinds of love to your love ones and you'll receive the same love and affection fom them too.
show all this kinds of love to your love ones and you'll receive the same love and affection fom them too.
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