Ruther Shares..
Having relationships with others—be it with friends, family, or a lover, it is one of the best gifts we can have in life. But sometimes, as we learn to love them, we tend to hurt them and take them for granted. Sometimes, they can also the ones who hurt you. And even if you hear thousands of apologies from them, you still find it difficult to forgive that person.
Gary Chapman, the author of 5 Love Languages, had also written a book on the 5 Languages of Apology. In his book, he mentioned that people accept apologies in different ways, like how we accept love. You might find this helpful as you learn to forgive others and understand how to accept apology. It is also possible that how you accept apology is also the way you would ask for forgiveness if you happen to hurt others’ feeling.
Expressing regret
What you wanna hear in an apology is an immediate expression of sorrow for causing you pain. You’re able to accept apology from someone who express regret by simply saying. “I’m sorry”.
Accepting responsibility
What you are looking for in apology is maturity, and you want to hear from the person who have hurt you, “I was wrong and I take responsibility for it”
Making restitution
You find it easiest to forgive when action is taken to compensate for the wrong
done to you. You don’t only listen to the explanation why things got wrong and the admission of the person about his fault, but you also want him to tell and realize, “What can I do to make it better”.
Genuinely repenting
You find an apology most sincere when followed by a promise to change, with offending person to saying, “I’ll try not to that again”. This kind of apology assures you that the person will avoid hurting you again.
Requesting forgiveness
You want to know what the offending person highly values your relationship and sincerely desires restoration. This is when the other party gives great importance on asking for forgiveness.
At the end of the day, all we want is to have strong and healthy relationships with others so that our love will be fully expressed.
So, what is your primary language of apology?
*we support the I AM S.T.R.O.N.G. organization of UA&P
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
UA&P I AM S.T.R.O.N.G: 5 Languages of Apology
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128 comments:
it takes a lot of humility for one to accept his / her mistakes and apologize for it...PRIDE is the thing that should be swallowed if things are to be better between people in conflict =)
admitting mistakes is always hard but thinking about how so much better it would make things become, swallowing pride becomes less difficult
saying sorry and meaning it is the biggest solution to any relationship-related problem
whenever apologies are made, they should be meant. saying sorry just for the hack of it is meaningless
face the consequences of your actions & genuinely tell them that you're sorry
Sometimes it is hard to face the other person and say sorry , especially when you feel it is not your fault. What is important is you work things out... You'll feel much better. :)
If you just got out of a heated argument, take some time to cool off before saying your sorry. Sometimes strong emotions can cloud clear judgement. You might say things that you'll regret later. No one's rushing you to make up. But then again, don't let the issue linger.
Say sorry, mean it & don't commit the same mistake again :)
its a must to swallow your pride in order to ask for an apology
Especially if what you've done was too hurtful, saying sorry sometimes isn't enough. One has to go out of his/her way to ask for forgiveness. As they all say, actions speak louder than words!
i like this post. thank you :D
Saying sorry requires much effort and strong determination to change for the better
It's funny how most of the time, we find it more difficult to forgive the ones we love....
Forgive & FORGET (or at least try)
Apology seems so easy to utter but it lacks sicerety when it is said with your eyes rolling!
It can also perceived that saying I am sorry is not good enough, because you dont really mean it!
Saying I am sorry is a social skill that is a must for everyone!
Each of us take it for granted sometime, and we dont realized that we are hurting somebody.
Saying I am sorry when you've done something wrong is the first step in having a harmoniuos relationship.
Accepting someones apology sound so simple, but it takes time to make it effects to set in someone's mind.
Would it be better if all of us forgive and forget and move on!
Accepting someones apology sound so simple, but it takes time to make it effects to set in someone's mind.
Would it be better if all of us forgive and forget and move on!
Apology seems so easy to utter but it lacks sincerity when it is said with your eyes rolling!
It can also perceived that saying I am sorry is not good enough, because you dont really mean it!
Everyone commits mistakes but it doesn't mean you won't apologize for having done wrong to someone
Effective acceptance of apology;
Dont go back to what happened.Just smile and hug the person and consider the book closed.
It is indeed very hard to utter the word sorry...but even Jesus said;" The most humble ones are the most Successful ones"
Making restitution
its harder to forgive the one you love :( sometimes, apologizing won't work when the damage done was too grave
Make up for your wrong doings! "Sorry" can sometimes be overused and no longer meant
No one is perfect. We have to learn to accept apologies as well
Accepting responsibility
"Mercy is one of God's foremost qualities" (Psalm 86:15)
A passage reads;"As far off as the sunrise is from the sunset,so far off from us He has put our transgressions."
As a father shows mercy to his sons,Almighty God has shown mercy to those fearing Him.For He Himself knows the formation of us,remebering that we are dust.
(Psalm 103:12-14)
Forgiveness can be attain through sincere and honest apology with proactive action from the offending party. Accepting responsibility coincide with apologizing. It goes hand and hand.
Mediation is one technique used in resolving conflict between two people or more. Active listening to each and everyone involved in conflict is highly desirable to reach the mediation objective. By merely saying I apologized is not enough to resolved conflict. There must be a written agreement amongst all parties involved. Follow-up mediation is also recommended to ensure closure to the said conflict. No one is perfect after all.
Who is right and who is wrong? Who are we to judged? Trained professionals can determined the correct level of resolution when it comes to conflict. Accepting your own fault and come up with your own resolution, and at the same time adhering to it wholeheartedly probably will work best for you and the other party.
hey, this is a great post...
i believe that forgiving is hard but it's easier to do compared to forgetting. you can forgive but it's almost impossible to forget..
you can forgive but still there will always be something in the back of your mind that will tell you that if that person makes the same wrong move, it will be worse.
Happiness keeps you sweet,
Trials keep you strong,
Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure keeps you humble and
Success keeps you glowing,
but only Faith & Attitude
Keeps you going...
It doesn't mean that if you forgive, you'll forget what he did. the "fault" will always be there no matter what. it is how we react to it that makes it a genuine or non-genuine forgiveness.
This may sound sarcastic... but how can you forget if someone hurt you, you don't have amnesia...
Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different concepts. you may forgive your bestfriend but you may not reconcile with him.
Forgiveness is an act of letting go of what he had done to you. while reconciliation is letting go of the hurt plus having the same relationship you had before, as if nothing happened.
a perfect example is Jesus Christ. He did not only forgave us but he reconciled with us that's why we can directly communicate to Him. He made a way for us to reconcile because of His desire of having fellowship with us..
His reconciliation made a way to be "friends" with Him.
So again, you may forgive... but it's also a choice of having reconciliation.
its take a lot of courage and time.
i truly believe in your post. good job
apologies should always be appreciated.
saying sorry is one of nicest feelin you can ever feel.
forget about pride. thanks nice article guys!
sorry seems to be the hardest word! as the song goes...
Jesus loves you! so forgive others as he had forgiven your sins and iniquities!
forgive and love! you will live a happy life
when was the last time you forgive others?
forgive and forget! is that actally possible?
love thy neighbor!
who are you not to forgive others?
change for the better! forgive and learn to love!
hugs and kisses!!!
sorry
milk chocolate for sorry
people power is alive
say sorry GMA
Peso would likely remain. sorry_apolize!
wait! i think there's some crazy in this blog!
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Sorry
sorry + Love!
humility!
apologize + consequence!
Accepting your mistakes can be challenging
Saying sorry takes courage
goptfwucApolgizing is a key to making peace
apology is often an effective way to repair a damaged relationship
Apology accepted
Yes, a person should never be too proud to swallow his pride, apologize, and seek forgiveness. Of course, for sincerely humble individuals, apologies are not so difficult to make.
I wish I could do that
admitting our mistakes and apologizing for damage done can open up opportunities for constructive discussions.
i agree with that
When we find out that someone was offended by what we said or did, we may feel that the person is being unreasonable or too sensitive.
when two humans are at odds, there may be a measure of blame on both sides, since both are imperfect and prone to err. This usually calls for mutual concessions.
The issue is, not so much who is right and who is wrong, but who will take the initiative to make peace.
Some people, though, overuse the words that are meant to express apology. For instance, in Japan, the word sumimasen, a typical expression used in apologizing, is heard thousands of times. It can even be used to express gratitude, implying an uneasy feeling of not being able to reciprocate the favor shown. Because of its versatility, some may feel that the word is used too often and may wonder if those saying it are really sincere. Forms of apology may seem to be overused in other cultures too.
Good and sensible comments anonymous
it is important to be sincere when extending an apology
If we are sincere, our apology will include an admission of any wrong, a seeking of forgiveness, and an effort to undo damage to the extent possible.
the one who was offended should readily forgive the repentant wrongdoer
offering a sincere and appropriate apology for a wrong committed will go a long way toward making peace.
Forgive and Forget
"When offenses committed against us are minor in nature, we may have little difficulty granting the forgiveness. Keeping in mind that we too are imperfect enables us to make allowances for the shortcomings of others".
--The Watchtower
"Consider an illustration: Suppose you confide a deeply personal matter to a trusted friend, and you later learn that he divulged it to others, to your great embarrassment or hurt. You approach him to talk things over, and he is very sorry; he apologizes and asks for forgiveness. Hearing his sincere apology, your heart is moved to forgive him. Do you easily forget what happened? Likely not; you would no doubt be very cautious about confiding in him in the future. Yet you do forgive him; you do not continually rehash the matter with him. You do not harbor resentment, nor do you gossip about it with others. You may not feel as close to him as you did before, but you still love him as your Christian brother."—Compare Proverbs 20:19.
--The Watchtower
is apology a sign of weakness?
i don't know, is it?
I hurt my wife and i cannot forgive myself for doing it. Even if I apologized already, I caused her pain and it will take time to forgive myself.
It hurts so much to know that the only person you trusted dont trust you anymore in spite of you not really doing anything that violates the other person.
I cried so bad for many days because I could not accept the fact that I did something wrong and it cause her great pain.
I accept the fact that my wife standards are high and should be emulated by many women. I just want to convey to her that I am mostly hurt by what happen.
The consequence of my alledged misconduct is our separation and after I apologized for hurting her, its not enough.
i guess dying is the only repentance acceptable for my misconduct.
I felt too sick for a few days after she told me it sover between us. I couldnt accept it.i apologized sincerely but i hurt her so much.
My only wish in life is to spend the rest of my life with her and our daughter. Please accept my aoplogy and forgive me.
I could not go on if she is not with me. It is too much to bare. Please forgive me.
tears in my eyes cannot expressed the fact that i am so hurt by all of this mistrust and wrong accusation. It is too much and painful. my apology to her
I am for real and trying to be strong to at least take care of our child. My self esteem is very low and and my coping skills is down. I am very sorry.
she was the judge and the jury. I was found guilty of all the allegation thrown at me. No explanation matters. It hurts and too much pain even with repeated apology. I swallowed my pride and went down to the gutter to ask for forgiveness.
Pain and suffering will linger for a while even if it looks like we are back together. inside me is too hurt because of the fact that she no longer trust me, Physical contact is there but I want full trust from her because of my unconditional love for her. again my apology and I ask for forgiveness
I said many things out of rage and I was too angry. My emotion overwhelm me and my best judgement was clouded with darkeness. apology is no longer acceptable and forgiveness is out of sight. But my whole hearted prayers that she voercome all these obstacles in our life prevails. I hurt her and the consequence is that I cannot forgive myself for a while
I sincerely meant what i told her when I said I am sorry for the wrongdoing I have done. But the fact remain that I am so hurt by the wrongful accusation. My mind is weakening and numbness is succumbing my left arm. extinguishing my life at the moment was prevailing and nothing matters anymore.
Hatred comes into mind in which I hated myself so much for all the things that went wrong. I cannot satisfy the standards that she set and it is quite simple. Bu tin mind I did and the fact remain that I am always faithful to her. Being nice to others does not connotate sexual gesture or urges but merely motioning thanks to good deeds by others.
i was asked to change the poor habits and I was able to comply. but it is not enough that i can be accepted by whomever i am. I love her the way she is and the past is not in the picture anymore, that was those things that she did inappropriately. I stll ask for forgiveness. My pride is gone and i have very little self respect
I felt being in the gutter all the time and at night when quite sets in, I could not help but to pity my self and notions of undesireable thinking sets in. Its bad and I am so hurt. I still apologized for the accusaton thrown at me. I guess she forgive someday
What matters now is I am given the last chance and I will take it. In my heart I am a faithful husband till the day i die. I dedicate my whole life to have this family together and my best will come to show my sincerety.
my health will dictate if I can continue to exist to fulfill my sacred obligation to raise our child and to love her more than my own life.
im sorry
sometimes its hard to say sorry
sorry that i left...
i had to leave you because we are different
sorry
when you are strong - you can always say sorry
after the apology - move on and regain the trust
a tooth for a tooth
behind every apology comes forgiveness
i forgive you mayet, just take care of him
ask and you shall receive
forgive and forget
yes forget the past and enjoy your relationship tomorrow
friends should forgive each other...
yes they should because thats what friends are for
Jehovah God forgives our sin, please attend March 22, 2008 Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's witnesses earthwide. after sundown
all you have to say is sorry
families all the more should forgive each other
oo nga , mahirap magsorry pag mapagmataas ka
humble yourself
pray and then say sorry
repent
be true to yourself
be true to your words
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